If Neuro Met L
by Schermionie
Summary: There would be copycat crimes. "Light-kun and I are chained together from now on," said L. "What a coincidence!" said Neuro cheerily, yanking hard on the chain attached to his wrist. "So are Sensei and I!" ::A 'What if' Story::


**Disclaimer:** Yuusei Matsui owns 'Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro' and 'Death Note' belongs to Tsugumi Ouba and Takeshi Obata.

**A/N:** Because there should be far, far more crossovers with these two categories. With a bit of work they could fit together perfectly -- of course, I wasn't trying to get a perfect fit here because this is pretty much crack which pays no attention to timelines and the like. But I'm sure it can be done. Come on, people! (Also, enjoy! And please review regardless of whether you do or not. I have the terror of finishing my Christmas shopping ahead and need to be bolstered by reader feedback!~)

* * *

If Neuro Met L...

_There would be awkward introductions._

"For all intents and purposes, you may only ever call me Ryuuzaki," said the crazy-looking guy who was, to most people, the greatest detective in the world. L.

"Then you may only ever call Sensei the Greatest Detective in the World!" said Neuro with a beaming smile.

_There would be conflicts of interest._

"We must kill Kira. Do whatever you can -- even if it means bringing me his corpse," said L, firmly. He hated sending people to potential death, but Kira _had to be stopped_. At all costs.

"Sensei says that killing him on the spot won't be necessary. You should try to bring him here so that Sensei can talk to him and get to the bottom of things," said Neuro, salivating. He hated that Kira was wiping out his food source, but this mystery was on the tip of his tongue... and he and his slave had to get it. At all costs.

_There would be eating contests._

"Sugar makes _everything _better," said L, smiling.

"Sugar... is unnecessary," said Neuro, smiling.

"Mmm... gnomgnomgnom. You're right!" said Yako, smiling.

But, through the mountain of accumulated plates and bowls of devoured food, neither could tell who she was looking at.

_There would be combined Yako torture._

"Sensei is quite happy to do that," said Neuro, giving her a wig and some Gothic clothing.

"Right," said L seriously. "Yako-chan, I want you to approach Light-kun and tell him that you've been released and want to make up for all the time apart tonight."

_There would be Watari vs. Neuro._

"I get him everything he wants," said Watari thunderously. "Everything!"

"Sensei gets everything herself. _She's _self-sufficient," said Neuro, smirking.

There was a long silence.

"Touché, Neuro. Touché," said L as Watari wheeled him yet _more _cake.

Yako didn't say anything because she was too busy hijacking the tray.

_There would be Yako vs. L._

"L, do you know -- Shinigami love apples," said L to himself, absently piling sugar into his tea. "Why would Kira say that?"

"I'm sure mythical creatures can get hungry too, you know," said Yako with such a wise air about her that L could only nod.

_There would be Light_.

"You're still here?" said Light on the morning of the third day of their arrival.

"Our investigation is--" said Yako before a hand covered her mouth.

"I could ask _you _the same question," said Neuro, dangerously calm.

_There would be copycat crimes._

"We're chained together from now on," said L, showing them the handcuffs that bound Light and him together.

"What a coincidence!" said Neuro cheerily, yanking hard on the chain attached to his wrist. "So are Sensei and I!"

_There would be the Ishigaki-Matsuda combo._

"You even _look _a bit alike," said Yako, frowning over her ice cream and mounting sense of dread.

"When can we meet?" said Ishigaki eagerly.

_There would be birthday celebrations._

"You were the one who insisted on this, Yako," said Soichiro, surprised.

"I'm so sorry! The cake looked delicious!" said Yako.

_There would be mysteries_.

"Do Shinigami need to use the toilet?" said Neuro blandly.

"...You really haven't had to question a suspect alone before, have you?" said L, sighing.

_There would be more_ _copycat crimes._

"I suspect that your son is Kira," said L to Soichiro. "The likelihood of this is only at 2 percent, though."

"I'm 98 percent sure that that's bullshit," said Neuro, imitating Yako's voice.

_There would be fathers_.

"You're lucky, though," said Yako outside the hospital doors. "To get to work with your father."

"I know," said Light. And he looked her in the eyes... just once.

_There would be fans._

"Autograph?" said Yako's chief fan.

"How did he get in here?!" said L frantically.

_There would be 'cultural differences'._

"Neuro," said Yako quietly. "_Why _are you wearing your 'fishing madness' hat to a _funeral_?!"

"...Isn't this what humans usually wear to their funerals?" said Neuro, innocently enough.

_There would be _more_ birthday celebrations._

"Did you know, Light," said Neuro, smiling smugly, "that a German word for 'light' is 'hell'?"

"I was aware of it, yes," said Light, eyeing the strange package Neuro had just stuffed into his hands. "What of it?"

"Well, then," said Neuro, still smiling, "I suppose you're aware that 'Gift' means 'poison', too?"

_There would be Shinigami vs. Demon._

"You can do that, hm? Well, no, I can't do that," said Rem boredly.

"... Can you go to the toilet?" said Neuro, face becoming stupid.

"Are you _still_ asking about that?" said L, having just slumped into the room.

_There would be 'abandonment play'._

"The brat doesn't even show up anymore," said Godai, sighing as he rested on the desk of his old office, not used by its rightful owners for some time.

Akane twitched sympathetically.

"Oi!" said Godai at that. "It's not like I _miss _them or anything!"

_There would be even _more _copycat crimes._

"You know, L..." said Neuro nonchalantly, "something about that screen you use when talking to other people on the computer seems familiar."

"... It was a really good idea," said L, blushing.

_And, ultimately, there would be something both Neuro and L crave._

Chaos_._

_But you probably don't want to hear about the time Yako used a torn-out page of Gelus's Death Note for a _shopping list_._


End file.
